I was at the dentist this morning, getting my teeth cleaned. This particular hygienist was one I haven’t seen for a long time. We were smiling and saying ‘how are you’ and so on.

I found myself saying “I’m really happy! I can’t think of a time when I’ve been happier!!”

This is very unlike me. I have a sense of humour and can make myself laugh but happy? Not on a normal day. I am a very stressy workaholic with bottomless ambition and poor tolerance for frustration, so on an average day my feelings are a mix of tense, angry, tired, sometimes bored, determined, resigned and occasionally tearful.

So many good things lined up with each other today, I’m trying hard to preserve this precious and RARE feeling of actual happiness by not looking at any news and answering as few work emails as possible.

Here is why my life is briefly and momentarily fantastic. I must capture it now before it wears off.

(1) My CONQUEROR MEDAL ARRIVED!! OMG!!! Their website says they are out of stock of medals and are shipping in batches with the next scheduled at the end of May. I only finished walking The Shire (stage 1/5 of a Lord of the Rings adventure) on 9 May and was expecting to wait weeks for my medal, yet it already arrived today, the 13th! I’m not even on the same continent as Conqueror, how did they get it here so fast? Anyway, LOOK.

The front of the medal shows the front door of Frodo Baggins’ country home, formerly the home of his uncle Bilbo. Like all Conqueror medals, it is thick, solid and beautifully crafted. At the back of the medal is a sturdy little envelope. Inside is the famous gold ring!! The LOTR challenge has five stages in total, each with a medal. When you receive the last medal, there’s a slot for the gold ring to fit inside, signifying that you completed the quest. I am thrilled.

(2) I do not have to work this weekend! I’m self-employed, which explains a lot of the above-described aggravation. I work most weekends. It is a rare thing indeed when I don’t have to work. I feel like I’m on holiday.

(3) Weight loss is going absolutely amazingly. On Wednesday I ate 3 pastries after dinner, including a massive pain aux raisins. Probably 600 calories there in total, none of which I budgeted for. On Thursday I went over budget again, to the tune of 600-700 calories, by eating a huge pile of some nearly-free sushi (too good to refuse). So over those two days I exceeded my calorie allowance by at least 1,200 calories, yet I gained no weight and in fact LOST some. That’s the first time I’ve ever lost weight while straying off a diet.

(4) Speaking of weight loss, guess how much I weighed this morning? 139 pounds!!! Here’s a reminder of the stats:

• Starting weight 170lbs, 10 January 2022.
• Current weight 139, 13 May, four months in. I have finally broken out of the 140s and into the 130s. I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.
• Goal weight 133.
• Totals: 31lbs down, 6 pounds to go. British people call anything under 7lbs “less than half a stone” and it is considered a small amount.

I’m elated. After the dentist I went to Sports Direct and splurged on new sports tops and leggings in a slightly smaller size because my normal Nike tops are too big on me (YESSSSS!!!!!) and even my new jeans are getting a bit roomy. I told the dentist about my weight loss, and the lady in Sports Direct and everyone.

(5) Tonight I have a special date with my partner because it’s our anniversary, we’ve been together 5 years. So we are going out for dinner.

(6) I quit smoking about 36 hours ago. Or let’s just say I’m having a break to give my lungs a rest. I can normally last for about 2 weeks before giving in. Anyway, I am currently on a smoking break, I have done it many times before, the last time was in March. This should result in being able to do cardio exercise more comfortably, also it is good for my self-esteem.

(7) I have hair that is freshly cut and coloured (with my work schedule, haircuts happen about twice a year and are considerably more rare than quitting smoking) AND I had my teeth professionally cleaned this morning, which was the very next day. Combined with my new body, I feel like a supermodel today. I really do. I’m 55 years old and I feel like a catwalk model. No wonder I wanted to buy all the fashions in Sports Direct on the way home from the dentist.

(8) Summer is almost here and I am hot AND fashionable, in fact I am a trophy wife.

As you can see, my cup runneth over. Of course there are plenty of shit things going on and things I could be worrying about but that’s true 365 days a year, so I am going to take this opportunity to say that TODAY, for ONE DAY, life is brilliant and I’m glad to be alive.

I wish you a very healthy and happy weekend.

And that’s all the news.